*click here for part 1 (Paradigm Shift), part 2 (Cemented Paradigm), and part 3 (Building a New Paradigm)*

I graduated from college, got married, started working at a bank, and had a plan to go back for my student teaching once my husband graduated; all the while, photography was drawing me. I’m not really sure of the chronology of events over the next couple of years, but bit by bit, God continued chipping away at that old paradigm I was stuck in: if I really wanted to serve Him and help others, I would choose a “noble” profession, which photography was not.

I picked up this somewhat controversial book by a somewhat controversial guy named Shane Claiborne. Just so happens that Shane also attended Eastern and was a co-founder of the Simple Way in Philly. So back to that somewhat controversial book he wrote–The Irresistible Revolution. Reading his words on vocation, on calling, was definitely an epiphany moment, and it came at such a pivotal time in my life. Though I was still too afraid to verbalize it, I was starting to figure out and really accept that I didn’t want to be a teacher. I felt I was disappointing a lot of people, that people looked at me and thought I wasted four years and a lot of money, that people wondered why I didn’t have all my career aspirations figured out yet, and that I had to constantly explain myself.

Shane pointed out that the ways in which people were called to Jesus’ work and ministry were varied. On the one hand, the disciples were called to drop what they were doing and do something completely different. On the other hand, some, such as the tax collector, were called to change the way they had been working. To stay in their career, but to redefine how they did it. He gave modern day examples: massage therapists who wash and massage the tired feet of the homeless; manicurists who visit nursing homes and visit with the ladies who have no visitors or family, enjoying their company and doing their nails; chiropractors who join Shane and his friends on the evenings of marches for peace and justice, to take care of the tired bodies after a long day of marching. These are just a few examples, but, Shane says, the calling is the same: “to love God and our neighbors with our whole lives, careers, and gifts” (p. 138).

During this period of my life, I was really struggling with the idea of calling. It weighed heavily on me that what I was doing was not what I studied, what I studied was not what I wanted to do, and what I thought I wanted to do I was too fearful to admit. For a little over a year, as I was going through all these frustrations, I was attending a small group with some amazing people. God was really transforming my life through this group that met in a little basement in someone’s home. One particular night was a culmination of small epiphany moments I’d been having in regards to calling.

A young man spoke to us that night. He said that we need to stop being so concerned with, “What is God calling me to do?” And start asking, “Who is God calling me to be?” That night, and the days following, a peace filled the spot where anxiety, fear, and worry had resided for so long. I finally had peace, knowing that I was following God’s calling–be a loving wife, a leader and good example for teens, and a servant who pours the love of God into those around me.

*click here for part 5 (Inspired)*

*click here for part 1 (Paradigm Shift) and part 2 (Cemented Paradigm)*

Throughout college, I began to really learn more about how my camera worked, and it opened up so many doors for creativity. I tried new things, failed, figured out why I failed, and tried again.

College was also the start of some epiphany moments, mostly while I was studying abroad in Costa Rica and taking yearly trips to the Dominican Republic. My heart was so entrenched in the lives of the people I met and the places I visited. There were times of laughter and joy, sorrow and tears, times of anger, times of peace. There were sights, sounds, smells, warm tropical breezes, bachata rhythms floating through the air on warm Caribbean nights, drum beats from the street pounding through my very core, aching muscles from tireless physical work, sweaty afternoon siestas. There was something in the core of me that wanted so badly to communicate what it felt like to be there…something I feel even the best writers cannot do with mere words. When I was there, I didn’t just take pictures; I attempted to photograph in a way that would communicate those stories. I wanted to do more than show a visual representation of a place; I wanted the viewer to see an image, and hear sounds, and feel the weather, and smell the smells. I was nowhere near the technical ability I needed, but my heart was in it, and it pushed me to keep trying.

While I was in Costa Rica, I saw a photographer for World Vision speak about what he does. It was the first time I was really exposed to the idea of a photographer working for a non-profit Christian organization. He was a photographer that was doing more than just taking pictures of people to make money. He wasn’t the one literally serving people when World Vision was working in a particular area. But he was using his gifts and his passion to capture the needs of the hurting in a photograph in such a way that moved people to give and support. In his own way, he was helping the hurting by helping World Vision raise the funds they needed in order to send people and supplies to the places and people that needed it.

This was certainly a little nugget for me to chew on..later I’d see that it was an important building block in a new paradigm.

*click here for part 4 (Not What, But Who) and part 5 (Inspired)*